Can you work in those shoes?

Another article devoted to women's attire in the workplace, complete with a cleavage appropriate measuring device and some requisite fat-ist, ageist hate from a Gen-Y mean girl:

"If I want to flaunt what I’ve got, I’ll do it, and I don’t care if some old-fashioned or overweight female employees can’t handle it."

Fashion advice for women in the workplace usually sounds like a soft audition for the Taliban: showing skin is not respectful so cover yourself from collar bones, writes and ankles--like Maggie on the Simpsons; the microwaves from your unbound mermaid hair will tempt men; and your boobs look like the slot from a credit card reader. Personally, I find this advice to be obnoxious and unrealistic:

• Have you seen what they sell in clothing stores? What are my choices? It's belly button or nipples, even in some business attire. I guess they think we all work in banks.
• Why don't men get this fashion and body control advice? How about: tuck in your pelvis when you're talking to clients, or I can see your nipple rings through that dress shirt, or quit touching yourself and buy some boxers that fit already?
• Get your [figurative] hands off of my shirt--if I can work in what I wear and it is clean, unwrinkled and no holes, does it really matter?

So the real question is: can I work in what I wear? Honestly, if I need to climb under desks to fix the mouse, if I have to play Wii tennis with the seniors gaming group, or my car may break down in freezing winter weather while I visit all of the partner libraries in my district, why can't I wear jeans and a sweater? Why can't I wear flip flops if my feet are clean and well-groomed? When did wardrobe become short hand for how capable I am at my job, especially when I am dressing to deal with the job? Shouldn't I get points for pragmatism? Instead, the stereotype for my career is "dowdy" which according to this article is just as dangerous to a salary increase as "sexy".

And yes, whenever I read these articles I am extremely grateful to work in libraries where I have seen blue hair, pierced lips, permanent tattoos on necks, jeans and shirts that don't enclose collar bones--and they let us work with children! We haven't broken the flip flop barrier yet but I hold out hope.

Cleavage career guides

I have a weird tag for some of the business/career books that I come across that are written for women, but seem to have more to do with how much cleavage we show (toe or otherwise) than our skills and capabilities. Reading these books make me all nostalgic for the day the the boys discovered bra straps and a new way to bully girls. Next up, slut shaming, in which all participate.

I want to say no one depends on their boobs to get ahead, but Pamela Anderson springs to mind. And not all boobs (or biceps, for that matter) mesmerize equally: there is usually some cunning and social engineering involved on the part of the person attached to the sexy flesh.


Some of these books may have some good advice interspersed with Wonder Bra and cosmetic surgery ads. So, I call them cleavage career guides and let you make up your own mind.

Recently, there was a some chatter about a tip sheet that was supposed distributed within Citibank, adopted from a book called Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office. Jezebel spurned it. Cynical Girl (former Punk Rock HR) wrote a sorta defense of Citibank and the book.

The problem is this: masculine and feminine behaviors are perceptions, which means they exist in our minds, either as we project them or receive them. This doesn't mean that we turn off our biological sex, but people project some of their perceptions on to us and we roleplay back. These behaviors are also dependent on culture. You might think you are a feminine cheesecake in North America, but you may seem pretty beefy beyond these borders.

My hearty handshake and aggressive humor do not make me a male--but some people perceive these behaviors as masculine. If they are really smart, they will skip the category. The brisk handshaking does come with bored hair twirling.

Do we really need rules about how to behave and where to put our eyeballs? Sometimes, because we are creatures that need rules. But they should be applied fairly to individuals, not to categories.

Men, sizing matters

Again, a do's and don'ts of workplace fashion focused strongly on (young) women. Complete with slide show including cleavage. Ok, I agree that people could dress a little more professionally. (Not that I will, but you know about advice: love to give it, don't follow it.) But I hate how most of this advice is focused on women. Men, too, take liberties with the dress code: it just happens that their faux pas usually have to do with improper sizing while they are still within the dress code confines. How about these:

• The fuzzy-bear belly. Yes, men with muffin tops and popped buttons showing up for work. Or growing increasingly deshabille as the day goes on. These are the guys who aren't allowed to be skins on the court.
• Chafe-y underwear so they're always rearranging their clappers. Or that scissors move when they slouch down in the chair and think no one is watching. YUCK. Just buy some knickers that fit already.
• Tight clothing.You need a size thirty-six waist. You are not the same size you were in college, get over it.
• Overhanging gut that ate the belt. Steve McQueen is looking for you and he has a fire extinguisher.
• No waist man. Pants hiked up to the armpits and scary camel toe. If your nipples are that cold, put on a sweater.
• I don't want to see your ankles. Ever. Your legs have stopped growing, just measure and commit. (That Nicolas Sarkozy thing was an April Fool's Day joke.)
• Plumber's crack. Need I say more?

Clearly, if you actually listened to the adage, measure twice, cut once, we'd have some better dressed men and perfectly fitted baseboards. Beyond sizing, but purely fashion stricken

• Track pants. Jay Z wants you to get out of his closet.
• Ungroomed facial hair. Yes, you, the one that ate that soup for lunch. Or was it yesterday's lunch?
• Men wear flip-flops, too. A far greater crime: brown sandals with black socks. Or mismatched tube socks. So shut up about it.

Feel the love? Now you know why women hate fashion do's and don'ts.

Sexy Librarian

I initially saw this post on the Brazen Careerist (who I think is a cleavage career guider and I both nod at or loathe her opinions, so this is not a recommendation to follow her blog) about how people--as young as traditional college grads--are thinking about or financing plastic surgery to give themselves a career boost. Or a start, if looks really matter that much. Apparently, there is some science behind this, or a really catchy press release for the book Looks: Why they matter more than you imagined.

Of course, this has implications for people looking for work: if your teeth are yellowish or your boobs need some support or you are asymmetrical--somewhere--can it affect your employment prospects or earnings over time? According to some of the sections of the book, yep, appearance matters (available on the publisher's website; I would also recommend the podcast since it focuses on looks in the workplace from hiring to evaluation). Since I have not read the book--on my shelf right now--I have some additional questions that I hope the book covers:

• What if you are too dark for the culture's beauty standards?
• Eyes aren't round or big enough?
• How aware are some people of the interplay of beauty and what they think is attractive?
  
• And of course, the eternal question: boobs or butt?
  

While researching this post, I came across I really depressing article from Dateline NBC where they tested a variety of scenarios--lost, dropped papers, cut in line--with models of both genders and average looking people of both genders, and, well, you guessed it, cuteness got better service. The author of the Looks book was quoted at several points about their tests and his own research.

Sorry for the delay in posting: two conferences and two presentations in two weeks was just too much. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Hike up your boobs career advice

The Brazen Careerist does it again: suggesting that we take career lessons from Eliot Spitzer's call girl, Ashely Dupre. I have a love/hate relationship with the Brazen Careerist: some of her advice is just plain common sense and some of her wise pearls are barely fit for swine. Usually, this is when she veers into life coaching, as opposed to career coaching, and suggests that we get a bra with better support instead of a strong support network.

Yes, this young boobalicious girl made lots of money--possibly lying about her family life, sleeping with men and posting some songs on her MySpace page, like an American Idol wannabee--but should we take career lessons from a naive young person who appears to have "pillowy" as her only career skill? (If she did a version of If I only had a brain, I swear I would download it). And we are supposed to take a page from the book of someone who her mother described in the NYT as: "...a very bright girl who can handle someone like the governor...But she also is a 22-year-old, not a 32-year-old or a 42-year-old, and she obviously got involved in something much larger than her.” I admire the very bright part, but not the swept away, chewed up and spit out part.

Since Ms Dupre is probably the only one who will come out, money-wise, better than she was when she started, perhaps we could take advice from her. That is, if our lives were all about money.