Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ummm, has this guy met any real dogs?

As I was reading the article, Things You Can Learn From a Dog That Will Help Your Career, I wondered, has this guy met any real dogs? Is this Descartes' dog? I have lived with and cared for many dogs and I can tell you, they don't act like this.

A dog doesn't mind when you wake him. This actually refers to another article that the author wrote which espouses some of the virtues that Bill Bennett wanted us to learn through sanctimonious fairy tales--and yeah, we remember how that turned out. Dogs, though not as ornery as cats about disturbed naps, like sleep too; apparently they like to sleep 13 hours a day which puts them on par with most teenagers--and we know where most of them work, don't we?

This is an example of people not knowing how well the dog has trained them. A lesson to us all: teach your employer your schedule so you can spend most of the day outside.

Dogs are not inconvenienced by having to move. I don't know about that--is there a rawhide on the pillow? I have had dogs almost take my hand off to stay in a desired spot, enjoying a cherished activity. And, yes, they have the weapons to make good on that threat. We consider that bad form in the work place.

"He only cares what you say to him, not about him." This depends on relevance and tone. Why do people with dogs constantly spell certain words, coming up with phrases like, "Let's W-A-L-K to the store." Yell at the TV over a particularly bad call during the game and the dog will run for cover. Dogs are probably more aware of our language and behavior than we think--just like we think we are being oh so sly when we close doors to have conversations at work. Posture and tone also convey disdain and condescension in humans, even if our words say something else. I learned that one by watching Lie to Me, because TV is another place to get sound business advice.

Your dog doesn't care what you wear. Bearded men, approach a dog that lives with a woman and see what happens. I would go with option d: mayhem. Wear a ball cap like the kid that tormented the dog through the fence, but when the dog charges, remove the cap quickly to protect your genitals. Dogs are just as fussy about appearances as humans are and they depend on a uniform shape to give them information about what or who is approaching them. They, too, make snap decisions about appearance based on types they have encountered in the past. They may care less about piercings though and many of them have tattoos.

"He’s there for you - not for you to help him self-actualize." Your dog is there because you feed him. Sorta like a salary, but paid in chow. Yes, a dog will feel loyal and do many things for love, usually based on your good behavior in the past, but some dogs, like some employees, will run away if we fail to keep our side of the bargain.

Dogs rely on their senses to make stunningly accurate evaluations and we should use a smell test to evaluate a scenario. Dogs, like humans, can be overstimulated by their senses and information. Have you ever seen a dog luxuriate in a scent, rubbing her whole body in it, only for the unfortunate owner to discover that it is something rancid or decaying? Sort of the like the person who is is approached with a plumy deal that smells like money, only to find it is not as ideal as they had hoped. Dogs will throw themselves enthusiastically into one scent, even if it stinks.

However, his first sentence was accurate, when he wrote, "It seems we’ll go to any lengths these days to find inspiration and guidance, particularly when it comes to the subject of how to behave at work."

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